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My first sex experience with mom
As an eighteen year old I was always horny. Every night, I would close my bedroom door, turn off the lights and slip into bed. I'd double check the volume on my phone was completely off, or very low if I was feeling a little daring (never headphones as they would block out external sounds like approaching footsteps) and then would spend the next several minutes looking for the perfect video to suit my fantasy at that moment.
My phone always lived in my right hand, the fingers from my left would always wonder over my body slowly with only a whisper of a touch. Sensually I would trace my fingertips delicately across my chest, my arms, and across my thighs. I relish those magic tingles. Always taking my time, slowly building up the tension through my body before my fingers find their way to their erect target.
The first touch is always electric. I love that strong shiver that rises through my body as my fingers graze my cock for the first time after a long, hard, busy day. My eyes would always be fixed to the screen, as I gently stroke the side of my cock that is not resting on my stomach. Every touch of my fingers would make my cock jump slightly and soon I will have no more fight to resist and wrap my fingers around my member and lift him to full attention.
Some days my fingers pump quicker than others, some days my eyes close, and I get lost in a fantasy; but it always ends the same way every day. My thighs start to shake, my asshole clenches, and a warm fuzzy feeling engulfs my pelvic region for an all to brief a moment. My fingers; tightly wrapped around my cock feel the throbbing and bubbling of cum rising from my balls up my shaft; and suddenly, the tip of my cock starts to convulse as squirts of thick cum fire up over myself. Most days the area around my cock is covered in a puddle of white cream; but other days my cum shoots further. I always tried to see how far I can fire; and always love to watch and feel myself spray all over my chest; my neck; or even occasionally my face.
I will never forget the day a thick creamy shot headed towards my mouth. Instinctively I separated my lips and felt the warm cream hit the side of my lips on the right side. My tongue quickly darted towards the sticky mess without thinking, and I had my first taste of my own cum.
From that day on I became more adventurous and often found myself feeding my hungry lips and tongue. The warm taste is incredible. There is something so naughty and forbidden about it that excites me beyond belief.
*
I am an only child; and I never knew my father. For this true story I am not going to mention any names, to protect our identities. My mother raised me without any help; and never married after her two-month whirlwind romance with my father fizzled out. The second he found out she was pregnant he disappeared and has never contacted us. When I turned nineteen a few months later something happened that I changed my future path. My mum was 43 but she really didn't look it. Today, three years later she still doesn't look her age. She has cute blonde curly hair which flows down past her shoulders. Her eyes are a striking blue, and her features are very delicate and pretty. When she smiles a small dimple appears on each cheek, and her nose flares in most infatuating way. Her lips are thick and juicy, but not too big; they suit her face perfectly. There is an aura about her that makes everyone fall instantly in love with her; and it's not just her amazing body. I often now believe the words head over heals were written with her in mind. At home she wears t-shirts most of the time without a bra underneath, which gives me a great view of her curves; especially when she wears my old t-shirt's. I live for the moments when I see that pinch of material around her breasts.
We had just moved to a new city, and didn't know many people in our new area, and she had been mistaken for my sister more times than I could count in the first few weeks, and occasionally even as my partner. I had a habit of winding my mum up and started playing along when people asked if she was my partner. She would get embarrassed and tell me off; but I soon noticed that her nipples would become more distinctly visible after I joked about the two of us.
I often spoke to mum about dating, she knew I was single, but she never told me too much about her personal life. She always promised I would be the first to know if anyone serious came along. I was always amazed that she was single, to me she is a complete perfect catch.
When walking through our new local shopping mall one day I came across an Ann Summers store. (For those of you who don't know, it's a chain store all over the UK that sells lingerie and adult toys.) More out of curiosity I found myself going into the store and left with my first sex toy. A fleshlite. For those of you who do not know what they are, do a quick google search! They are the male version of the dildo.
That evening I placed the toy at the bottom of my backpack and snuck it into the house. I then hid it underneath my bed. I was desperate to try it out immediately; but knew I should wait for a quiet moment, when I was home alone. I just had to wait until mum was fast asleep or until she went out for long enough for me not to get caught. I knew she would be back from work very soon, but I still took the opportunity to prepare myself for my first play. I shaved my pubic region completely until I was completely smooth; and took a hot shower.
Later that night I had no trouble keeping awake until my mum was sound asleep. I lay in bed with the lights out waiting until I was one hundred percent sure she was out. There is a bathroom between our two bedrooms, but luckily my mum is a heavy snorer and I could faintly hear her through the walls. I used the flashlight on my phone to unbox my new fleshlite. The instructions called on me to warm the silicon toy up in some hot water so I silently crept into the bathroom like a ninja and turned on the hot top as quietly as I could. The wait for the water to turn hot and fill the basin took only a couple of minutes; but the five-minute wait for the toy to warm up took an eternity.
A few minutes later I was lying on my back in my bed. My phone was positioned next to me under my duvet so I could use the light from the screen to aid my 'me time'. I had reread the instructions at least five times by this point and was confident I knew what to do. It was fairly simple enough to use -- warm it up in some hot water; use lots of lube; and then go crazy.
It was the first time I had ever used lube in my life; and it was the strangest feeling. It was cold but hot at the same time. My cock was throbbing and jumping to attention and there was a slight sensation that I can only describe as burning; but a good burning. The feeling of my rock-hard cock rubbing against the tip of the fleshlite was amazing; the feeling of my cock pushing itself into the fleshlite was out of this world. The inner bubbles and contours of the silicon stimulated every millimetre of cock, and It was incredibly warm and inviting. My phone screen had gone off, and for the first time in a while I didn't think about finding a video to watch. My hands tightly gripped the fleshlite case as I caught my breathe and slowly started masturbating myself with my new toy. The feeling was so engulfing that I felt like a king. Every time I slid the toy up, my cock jumped forwards, telling me it needed to bury itself back inside it. The toy was noisy, especially when I thrust my cock back inside. A whiz of air would sizzle out the end loudly, but I was enjoying myself too much to care about the noise risk at that point.
I didn't last very long the first time, and when I did cum it was like a volcano erupting. For the first time an orgasm took over my whole body, not just my pelvic region. The same warm fuzzy feeling I loved feeling around my cock flowed through my whole body for a second and I had to hold on tight with both hands to stop the fleshlite thrashing around over my throbbing cock. It took me a few seconds to realise I had been moaning out loud; I don't know for how long.
I quickly fell back to reality and was very happy to hear my mum still snoring away in her room. I grabbed a couple of tissues from my bedside table and wiped myself clean before pushing the toy under my bed and turning to sleep.
*
The next day I reached home from earlier than usual, and I knew my mum wouldn't be home for an hour or so. I quickly opened my backpack and pulled out the box the fleshlite had come in, from the bottom of my bag. My heart sank when I realised it was empty? WHAT?
I started to panic. Where was it?
I looked under my bed. Nope; wasn't there. Where was it?
I quickly opened every draw in my room, my wardrobe, pulled my bed away from the wall; knowing deep down it wouldn't be there. I had that sinking feeling in my stomach and my fingers began to tremble.
I did push it under the bed last night before going to sleep; that much I remember for sure; but if I didn't put it in my bag in the morning, and it is not still under the bed where was it?
I franticly started searching the house and my car, trying to retrace my steps but no luck. My head was burning with guilt, embracement and fear, and before I knew it my mum walked through the front door. I had a look of a deer caught in headlights and my mum just looked at me for a moment. She didn't look mad at me at all, nothing seemed wrong; she was smiling like usual.
"Hey sweetie; everything okay?" She asked me. I pretended everything was fine and I apologised for not cooking already like I had promised to. She told me she would take care of it; and I should go wash up.
My mum wasn't acting weird, but what if she found it? What if she moved it? Did she know what it was? No, she couldn't have. It was in a black case and could easily be mistaken for a pencil case or a torch. Even if she saw had taken off the lid, she wouldn't know what it was; would she?
I took a cold shower that lasted for an eternity and came back to my bedroom to get dressed. That's when I noticed the bottle of lube sitting on my windowsill. I had definitely not left that there...
*
After a very quiet dinner, where I kept focussing on the surface crack on the left of my dinner plate, my mum called me over to the living room and pulled me in to join her on the sofa. This wasn't anything out of the ordinary for us. We always sat together on the sofa to watch our favourite television shows, or to catch up on each other's day. The Sofa was our place.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?"
I didn't answer her; but I felt that sinking feeling in my stomach again. I felt a sudden urge to break into tears and had to squint to hold them back. She immediately hugged me, fearing something was very wrong, but I instinctively recoiled away and looked towards the black television screen. I knew she knew. She had clearly moved the lube, and she must have also moved my new fleshlite, and I didn't know what to do.
"Sweetie look at me please!" she pleaded. Not angrily at all. It wasn't the tone of voice she used when I was in trouble; it was more concern and curiosity. A typical mother's worry. I felt like I needed to run; but also felt grounded to the sofa. I couldn't feel my legs.
Eventually I slowly looked up towards her and the first thing I noticed was her two erect nipples beneath my old high school t-shirt. My eyes lingered there for too long of a moment and I mumbled the words I'm sorry.
"Honey, why are you so upset? What are you sorry about?"
My eyes watered at this point and I didn't say a word for several seconds. In fact we both stayed silent for a couple of minutes.
The piercing silence was ended by her revealing words, delivered in a timid, hushed voice. "Is this because I found your toy?"
Our eyes met for a brief moment before I looked away hurriedly. I was dying of embarrassment. Not only had my biggest fear come true; but she was talking about it.
A few seconds later I nodded and tried to mutter an apology. If only I had held my composure, if only I was not acting so panicked and so upset. If only I had kept my cool this wouldn't be happening. Why was I so emotional?
"Honey please don't get upset." Her words flowed through a hoarse whisper. "It's perfectly normal and nothing to be embarrassed about."
I started to berate myself, saying it wasn't normal, and begging her to please forgive me. I told her there was clearly something very wrong with me, I was stupid, I was sick.
My mum took me in her arms and this time I didn't fight back as she hugged me. Her embrace comforted me like it always did, but I also consciously felt her breast against my right shoulder and became distinctly aware of her nipple grazing against my upper arm.
"Honey, honestly don't worry. It's perfectly normal. Everybody masturbates. It's nothing to be worried or scared about. I just feel so sorry your dad was never here to talk to you about these things. Wanting sex is a perfectly natural part of life."
I couldn't stop my tears flowing down my cheeks at this point. I felt disgusted. How could I have let my mum find out? When I pulled away I realised my tears had made her t-shirt wet, and now I could see the imprint of her nipples through the wet patch perfectly clearly.
"Come with me sweetie." She said as she stood up and grabbed my hand. I wanted to pull my hand back but I couldn't. She let me upstairs. Where was she taking me? What was going on? My heart was racing a million miles a second and I didn't know what to think, what to do or what to say. She led me towards her bedroom, and I stayed in the door frame as she walked towards her bed and sat down. My eyes kept shutting to try and block everything out, but I heard her open her bedside draw.
"Sweetie, come have a look." This time her voice trembled a little and I opened my eyes and she had pulled out a small black shoebox from her bedside draw. I approached the bed slowly, as she opened the box.
"Look sweetie. I didn't want you to ever see these, but I can see how much this is upsetting you." I step closer, I see a few blue pouches perfectly lined up in the box. It reminded me of every other surface in the house; perfectly organised. I sit down next to my mum awkwardly shifting on the spot as my mum continues. "These ones." A brief pause as my eyes flicker to hers, but her eyes are firmly avoiding my gaze. "These ones are mine."
What?
Wait what?
All of a sudden my mind changes direction. The conversation was no longer about me. It was now all about her. My tears felt like they not only stopped in their tracks, but reversed.
Her voice faulters once again as she pulls out one of the blue pouches and unzips one. My eyes follow out of curiosity as the zip opens up and reveals something red and long that looks like a similar consistency of jelly. It takes me a second to realise it was a huge dildo. I look at it for a moment before I pull away my gaze in disgust once again and looked piercingly at the wall. "Honey, masturbating is normal. See even I do it. It really isn't a big deal okay? It really shouldn't upset you like this? We are both the same me and you -- in fact everyone is! Don't let it get to you okay?"
I don't remember what I said next, but I was soon back in my room, on my bed, staring into the emptiness of the ceiling of my room. Even though my mum tried to be strong and parent the situation appropriately things had gone out of control. I was fairly sure she was feeling as hot headed as I was at that moment in time, and I wouldn't be surprised if she was also staring into the emptiness trying to decipher what just happened.
*
For the next couple of days my mum tried to talk to me many times, but I kept brushing it off pretending I was okay. I knew deep down I was no where near okay, and she clearly wasn't either. As the days flowed into a week, I stopped obsessing about my mum finding my toy, but I couldn't get her toy out of my head. The maternal shroud of perfection had vanished. My mum was no longer just my mum. She was like any and every other woman. The sexual side of me had been exposed to her, and equally her carnal animalistic side had been scarred to my mind.
Why did she have to show me those? Why did she have them in the first place?
After beating myself up emotionally for the longest time, somehow my brain connected the dots that the more you know about something you less you fear it. I had to remember she was only human after all. On Friday night, before my mum came home from work, I entered her room and quietly opened the black shoe box from her bedside draw. My hands were sweating, and I could feel my head turning red. I stared at the six blue pouches inside the box and after a few minutes of plucking up the courage, I picked one up. I slowly unzipped it, and a big black dildo jumped out the pouch into the air and proceeded to bounce off the bed onto the floor. The pouch had been slightly too small for the long black thumper.
I reached to pick it up so I could put it away, but for some reason I couldn't let go of it. My mind was spinning. My eyes were fixated on the tip. This dildo had been inside my mother. My mum had been using this to pleasure herself. She had been thrusting it in and out of herself. She had probably cummed all over it several dozen times. She had probably been using it while I was asleep in the next room. Was she masturbating at the same time as me every night? Did she wait till I was out the house? Did she wait until she was all alone in the house; lock the doors; fill herself a glass of wine; turn on some music, and then open her draw and select a perfect toy for her mood.
I noticed a few water marks of dried up liquid around the top half and I stretched out my fingers towards them, caressing them gently. I slowly angled the dildo upwards, pushing it between my palms, and before I knew it the tip of the dildo was only an inch away from my mouth.
I stopped myself at the last moment and forced myself to put it back into the zipped pouch. As I reached to put the pouch back into the box, I noticed a small silver metal piece at the bottom of the shoe box. It was about two inches long and perfectly silver. I instantly remembered seeing one in the shop where I had bought the fleshlite and knew what it was. A bullet vibrator.
I hurriedly put the shoe box away, and returned to my room, with the vibrator clenched tightly in my hand. The lady in the shop had tried to sell me one of these bullets as they fitted perfectly in the end of the fleshlite. Apparently, it would vibrate and increase my experience. I hadn't used the fleshlite since that first night over a week ago, and in fact I hadn't touched myself at all in that time. My brain told me this was my mum's vibrator; that I was being reckless and stupid; but my cock had a different idea.
I checked the clock on my wall, and knew I had about an hour before mum came home, and quickly prepared my fleshlite for another round in the bathroom. I found my feet walking towards my mum's bedroom instead of mine. I began to tear off my clothes and sat on the edge of her bed. Her pink flower duvet welcomed my back as lay down gently. I twisted the vibrator down the middle and the strong quivers quickly rippled through my fingers down into my bones. I clenched the vibrator tightly in my fist for a moment before placing it between my index finger and thumb. Without building up any tension; without taking my time I aimed my weapon right for the tip of my sword. The most intense waves of pleasure ribbed through my lower body and I almost lost control as I rolled the bullet down my shaft.
After a moment of heavy breathing and composure I slipped the vibrator into the end of the fleshlite. I dropped a few squirts of lube into the tip of the fleshlite and traced its lips across the my chest down towards my temple. This was heaven.
My phone always lived in my right hand, the fingers from my left would always wonder over my body slowly with only a whisper of a touch. Sensually I would trace my fingertips delicately across my chest, my arms, and across my thighs. I relish those magic tingles. Always taking my time, slowly building up the tension through my body before my fingers find their way to their erect target.
The first touch is always electric. I love that strong shiver that rises through my body as my fingers graze my cock for the first time after a long, hard, busy day. My eyes would always be fixed to the screen, as I gently stroke the side of my cock that is not resting on my stomach. Every touch of my fingers would make my cock jump slightly and soon I will have no more fight to resist and wrap my fingers around my member and lift him to full attention.
Some days my fingers pump quicker than others, some days my eyes close, and I get lost in a fantasy; but it always ends the same way every day. My thighs start to shake, my asshole clenches, and a warm fuzzy feeling engulfs my pelvic region for an all to brief a moment. My fingers; tightly wrapped around my cock feel the throbbing and bubbling of cum rising from my balls up my shaft; and suddenly, the tip of my cock starts to convulse as squirts of thick cum fire up over myself. Most days the area around my cock is covered in a puddle of white cream; but other days my cum shoots further. I always tried to see how far I can fire; and always love to watch and feel myself spray all over my chest; my neck; or even occasionally my face.
I will never forget the day a thick creamy shot headed towards my mouth. Instinctively I separated my lips and felt the warm cream hit the side of my lips on the right side. My tongue quickly darted towards the sticky mess without thinking, and I had my first taste of my own cum.
From that day on I became more adventurous and often found myself feeding my hungry lips and tongue. The warm taste is incredible. There is something so naughty and forbidden about it that excites me beyond belief.
*
I am an only child; and I never knew my father. For this true story I am not going to mention any names, to protect our identities. My mother raised me without any help; and never married after her two-month whirlwind romance with my father fizzled out. The second he found out she was pregnant he disappeared and has never contacted us. When I turned nineteen a few months later something happened that I changed my future path. My mum was 43 but she really didn't look it. Today, three years later she still doesn't look her age. She has cute blonde curly hair which flows down past her shoulders. Her eyes are a striking blue, and her features are very delicate and pretty. When she smiles a small dimple appears on each cheek, and her nose flares in most infatuating way. Her lips are thick and juicy, but not too big; they suit her face perfectly. There is an aura about her that makes everyone fall instantly in love with her; and it's not just her amazing body. I often now believe the words head over heals were written with her in mind. At home she wears t-shirts most of the time without a bra underneath, which gives me a great view of her curves; especially when she wears my old t-shirt's. I live for the moments when I see that pinch of material around her breasts.
We had just moved to a new city, and didn't know many people in our new area, and she had been mistaken for my sister more times than I could count in the first few weeks, and occasionally even as my partner. I had a habit of winding my mum up and started playing along when people asked if she was my partner. She would get embarrassed and tell me off; but I soon noticed that her nipples would become more distinctly visible after I joked about the two of us.
I often spoke to mum about dating, she knew I was single, but she never told me too much about her personal life. She always promised I would be the first to know if anyone serious came along. I was always amazed that she was single, to me she is a complete perfect catch.
When walking through our new local shopping mall one day I came across an Ann Summers store. (For those of you who don't know, it's a chain store all over the UK that sells lingerie and adult toys.) More out of curiosity I found myself going into the store and left with my first sex toy. A fleshlite. For those of you who do not know what they are, do a quick google search! They are the male version of the dildo.
That evening I placed the toy at the bottom of my backpack and snuck it into the house. I then hid it underneath my bed. I was desperate to try it out immediately; but knew I should wait for a quiet moment, when I was home alone. I just had to wait until mum was fast asleep or until she went out for long enough for me not to get caught. I knew she would be back from work very soon, but I still took the opportunity to prepare myself for my first play. I shaved my pubic region completely until I was completely smooth; and took a hot shower.
Later that night I had no trouble keeping awake until my mum was sound asleep. I lay in bed with the lights out waiting until I was one hundred percent sure she was out. There is a bathroom between our two bedrooms, but luckily my mum is a heavy snorer and I could faintly hear her through the walls. I used the flashlight on my phone to unbox my new fleshlite. The instructions called on me to warm the silicon toy up in some hot water so I silently crept into the bathroom like a ninja and turned on the hot top as quietly as I could. The wait for the water to turn hot and fill the basin took only a couple of minutes; but the five-minute wait for the toy to warm up took an eternity.
A few minutes later I was lying on my back in my bed. My phone was positioned next to me under my duvet so I could use the light from the screen to aid my 'me time'. I had reread the instructions at least five times by this point and was confident I knew what to do. It was fairly simple enough to use -- warm it up in some hot water; use lots of lube; and then go crazy.
It was the first time I had ever used lube in my life; and it was the strangest feeling. It was cold but hot at the same time. My cock was throbbing and jumping to attention and there was a slight sensation that I can only describe as burning; but a good burning. The feeling of my rock-hard cock rubbing against the tip of the fleshlite was amazing; the feeling of my cock pushing itself into the fleshlite was out of this world. The inner bubbles and contours of the silicon stimulated every millimetre of cock, and It was incredibly warm and inviting. My phone screen had gone off, and for the first time in a while I didn't think about finding a video to watch. My hands tightly gripped the fleshlite case as I caught my breathe and slowly started masturbating myself with my new toy. The feeling was so engulfing that I felt like a king. Every time I slid the toy up, my cock jumped forwards, telling me it needed to bury itself back inside it. The toy was noisy, especially when I thrust my cock back inside. A whiz of air would sizzle out the end loudly, but I was enjoying myself too much to care about the noise risk at that point.
I didn't last very long the first time, and when I did cum it was like a volcano erupting. For the first time an orgasm took over my whole body, not just my pelvic region. The same warm fuzzy feeling I loved feeling around my cock flowed through my whole body for a second and I had to hold on tight with both hands to stop the fleshlite thrashing around over my throbbing cock. It took me a few seconds to realise I had been moaning out loud; I don't know for how long.
I quickly fell back to reality and was very happy to hear my mum still snoring away in her room. I grabbed a couple of tissues from my bedside table and wiped myself clean before pushing the toy under my bed and turning to sleep.
*
The next day I reached home from earlier than usual, and I knew my mum wouldn't be home for an hour or so. I quickly opened my backpack and pulled out the box the fleshlite had come in, from the bottom of my bag. My heart sank when I realised it was empty? WHAT?
I started to panic. Where was it?
I looked under my bed. Nope; wasn't there. Where was it?
I quickly opened every draw in my room, my wardrobe, pulled my bed away from the wall; knowing deep down it wouldn't be there. I had that sinking feeling in my stomach and my fingers began to tremble.
I did push it under the bed last night before going to sleep; that much I remember for sure; but if I didn't put it in my bag in the morning, and it is not still under the bed where was it?
I franticly started searching the house and my car, trying to retrace my steps but no luck. My head was burning with guilt, embracement and fear, and before I knew it my mum walked through the front door. I had a look of a deer caught in headlights and my mum just looked at me for a moment. She didn't look mad at me at all, nothing seemed wrong; she was smiling like usual.
"Hey sweetie; everything okay?" She asked me. I pretended everything was fine and I apologised for not cooking already like I had promised to. She told me she would take care of it; and I should go wash up.
My mum wasn't acting weird, but what if she found it? What if she moved it? Did she know what it was? No, she couldn't have. It was in a black case and could easily be mistaken for a pencil case or a torch. Even if she saw had taken off the lid, she wouldn't know what it was; would she?
I took a cold shower that lasted for an eternity and came back to my bedroom to get dressed. That's when I noticed the bottle of lube sitting on my windowsill. I had definitely not left that there...
*
After a very quiet dinner, where I kept focussing on the surface crack on the left of my dinner plate, my mum called me over to the living room and pulled me in to join her on the sofa. This wasn't anything out of the ordinary for us. We always sat together on the sofa to watch our favourite television shows, or to catch up on each other's day. The Sofa was our place.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?"
I didn't answer her; but I felt that sinking feeling in my stomach again. I felt a sudden urge to break into tears and had to squint to hold them back. She immediately hugged me, fearing something was very wrong, but I instinctively recoiled away and looked towards the black television screen. I knew she knew. She had clearly moved the lube, and she must have also moved my new fleshlite, and I didn't know what to do.
"Sweetie look at me please!" she pleaded. Not angrily at all. It wasn't the tone of voice she used when I was in trouble; it was more concern and curiosity. A typical mother's worry. I felt like I needed to run; but also felt grounded to the sofa. I couldn't feel my legs.
Eventually I slowly looked up towards her and the first thing I noticed was her two erect nipples beneath my old high school t-shirt. My eyes lingered there for too long of a moment and I mumbled the words I'm sorry.
"Honey, why are you so upset? What are you sorry about?"
My eyes watered at this point and I didn't say a word for several seconds. In fact we both stayed silent for a couple of minutes.
The piercing silence was ended by her revealing words, delivered in a timid, hushed voice. "Is this because I found your toy?"
Our eyes met for a brief moment before I looked away hurriedly. I was dying of embarrassment. Not only had my biggest fear come true; but she was talking about it.
A few seconds later I nodded and tried to mutter an apology. If only I had held my composure, if only I was not acting so panicked and so upset. If only I had kept my cool this wouldn't be happening. Why was I so emotional?
"Honey please don't get upset." Her words flowed through a hoarse whisper. "It's perfectly normal and nothing to be embarrassed about."
I started to berate myself, saying it wasn't normal, and begging her to please forgive me. I told her there was clearly something very wrong with me, I was stupid, I was sick.
My mum took me in her arms and this time I didn't fight back as she hugged me. Her embrace comforted me like it always did, but I also consciously felt her breast against my right shoulder and became distinctly aware of her nipple grazing against my upper arm.
"Honey, honestly don't worry. It's perfectly normal. Everybody masturbates. It's nothing to be worried or scared about. I just feel so sorry your dad was never here to talk to you about these things. Wanting sex is a perfectly natural part of life."
I couldn't stop my tears flowing down my cheeks at this point. I felt disgusted. How could I have let my mum find out? When I pulled away I realised my tears had made her t-shirt wet, and now I could see the imprint of her nipples through the wet patch perfectly clearly.
"Come with me sweetie." She said as she stood up and grabbed my hand. I wanted to pull my hand back but I couldn't. She let me upstairs. Where was she taking me? What was going on? My heart was racing a million miles a second and I didn't know what to think, what to do or what to say. She led me towards her bedroom, and I stayed in the door frame as she walked towards her bed and sat down. My eyes kept shutting to try and block everything out, but I heard her open her bedside draw.
"Sweetie, come have a look." This time her voice trembled a little and I opened my eyes and she had pulled out a small black shoebox from her bedside draw. I approached the bed slowly, as she opened the box.
"Look sweetie. I didn't want you to ever see these, but I can see how much this is upsetting you." I step closer, I see a few blue pouches perfectly lined up in the box. It reminded me of every other surface in the house; perfectly organised. I sit down next to my mum awkwardly shifting on the spot as my mum continues. "These ones." A brief pause as my eyes flicker to hers, but her eyes are firmly avoiding my gaze. "These ones are mine."
What?
Wait what?
All of a sudden my mind changes direction. The conversation was no longer about me. It was now all about her. My tears felt like they not only stopped in their tracks, but reversed.
Her voice faulters once again as she pulls out one of the blue pouches and unzips one. My eyes follow out of curiosity as the zip opens up and reveals something red and long that looks like a similar consistency of jelly. It takes me a second to realise it was a huge dildo. I look at it for a moment before I pull away my gaze in disgust once again and looked piercingly at the wall. "Honey, masturbating is normal. See even I do it. It really isn't a big deal okay? It really shouldn't upset you like this? We are both the same me and you -- in fact everyone is! Don't let it get to you okay?"
I don't remember what I said next, but I was soon back in my room, on my bed, staring into the emptiness of the ceiling of my room. Even though my mum tried to be strong and parent the situation appropriately things had gone out of control. I was fairly sure she was feeling as hot headed as I was at that moment in time, and I wouldn't be surprised if she was also staring into the emptiness trying to decipher what just happened.
*
For the next couple of days my mum tried to talk to me many times, but I kept brushing it off pretending I was okay. I knew deep down I was no where near okay, and she clearly wasn't either. As the days flowed into a week, I stopped obsessing about my mum finding my toy, but I couldn't get her toy out of my head. The maternal shroud of perfection had vanished. My mum was no longer just my mum. She was like any and every other woman. The sexual side of me had been exposed to her, and equally her carnal animalistic side had been scarred to my mind.
Why did she have to show me those? Why did she have them in the first place?
After beating myself up emotionally for the longest time, somehow my brain connected the dots that the more you know about something you less you fear it. I had to remember she was only human after all. On Friday night, before my mum came home from work, I entered her room and quietly opened the black shoe box from her bedside draw. My hands were sweating, and I could feel my head turning red. I stared at the six blue pouches inside the box and after a few minutes of plucking up the courage, I picked one up. I slowly unzipped it, and a big black dildo jumped out the pouch into the air and proceeded to bounce off the bed onto the floor. The pouch had been slightly too small for the long black thumper.
I reached to pick it up so I could put it away, but for some reason I couldn't let go of it. My mind was spinning. My eyes were fixated on the tip. This dildo had been inside my mother. My mum had been using this to pleasure herself. She had been thrusting it in and out of herself. She had probably cummed all over it several dozen times. She had probably been using it while I was asleep in the next room. Was she masturbating at the same time as me every night? Did she wait till I was out the house? Did she wait until she was all alone in the house; lock the doors; fill herself a glass of wine; turn on some music, and then open her draw and select a perfect toy for her mood.
I noticed a few water marks of dried up liquid around the top half and I stretched out my fingers towards them, caressing them gently. I slowly angled the dildo upwards, pushing it between my palms, and before I knew it the tip of the dildo was only an inch away from my mouth.
I stopped myself at the last moment and forced myself to put it back into the zipped pouch. As I reached to put the pouch back into the box, I noticed a small silver metal piece at the bottom of the shoe box. It was about two inches long and perfectly silver. I instantly remembered seeing one in the shop where I had bought the fleshlite and knew what it was. A bullet vibrator.
I hurriedly put the shoe box away, and returned to my room, with the vibrator clenched tightly in my hand. The lady in the shop had tried to sell me one of these bullets as they fitted perfectly in the end of the fleshlite. Apparently, it would vibrate and increase my experience. I hadn't used the fleshlite since that first night over a week ago, and in fact I hadn't touched myself at all in that time. My brain told me this was my mum's vibrator; that I was being reckless and stupid; but my cock had a different idea.
I checked the clock on my wall, and knew I had about an hour before mum came home, and quickly prepared my fleshlite for another round in the bathroom. I found my feet walking towards my mum's bedroom instead of mine. I began to tear off my clothes and sat on the edge of her bed. Her pink flower duvet welcomed my back as lay down gently. I twisted the vibrator down the middle and the strong quivers quickly rippled through my fingers down into my bones. I clenched the vibrator tightly in my fist for a moment before placing it between my index finger and thumb. Without building up any tension; without taking my time I aimed my weapon right for the tip of my sword. The most intense waves of pleasure ribbed through my lower body and I almost lost control as I rolled the bullet down my shaft.
After a moment of heavy breathing and composure I slipped the vibrator into the end of the fleshlite. I dropped a few squirts of lube into the tip of the fleshlite and traced its lips across the my chest down towards my temple. This was heaven.
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